Why I keep talking about Trauma

I know what you're thinking, "OK, we get it! Trauma is bad."

It is, but I'm not just talking about being physically, emotionally or sexually abused, I'm talking about not even getting your needs met. Why am I so passionate about this? Well I grew up feeling unloved and like no one understood me. Not because my parents or siblings didn't actually love me, but because my parents carried their own pain from their own childhood.

Not to get all woo-woo on you guys, but we are all brought here on this earth to learn and to teach. I was brought to this earth with these parents and these siblings for a reason. My soul needed to learn something. And sometimes I think I've figured it out and other times, not so much. What I have learned so far is that we all carry our own pain and our kids trigger that pain. They trigger it so we can see it and heal from it. I brought out something in my parents that made them have to work at parenting. I was considered a difficult child, I cried a lot, needed extra attention, a little more tender love and care. They tried, but they couldn't get passed their own neglect that they felt as children to be able to give the opposite to me.

I might lose some of you on this one, but, one evening I journeyed while in a Soul-Mending pod and my recurring childhood nightmare came; it was more of a feeling than actual images, but I was able to get to the root of that 'dream feeling' it was me, in the womb, absorbing all the hurt and pain my mother had to endure while pregnant with me. Science now confirms that what the mother feels while pregnant; emotional distress as one, can be transferred to the fetus, and well, it did. I tried to take all her pain from her so she didn't have to. Could explain all my crying...

Fast forward to my childhood years and I still feel unloved and not understood. What does a child do, they develop coping mechanisms. My coping mechanisms to wanting to feel valued in my family was pleasing my parents, particularly my father. I worked way longer than I should have at my parents restaurant, ran whenever they needed me, basically said yes every time I really wanted to say no. What does that do to your body? I repressed my anger, I repressed what I really wanted and so I taught my body to repress. Now at 39 years old it has been confirmed that I am in the beginning stages of psoriasis arthritis (an autoimmune disease) I taught my body to repress and what did it suppress, my immune system. Get how healing is so important now?

Some will argue, well it's hereditary, your father has psoriasis arthritis. He does, but my father also had a really hard childhood. He was sent away for school; not like those fancy English boarding schools. A small school in Greece where he would attend classes during the day and then work at night. I wonder what a small child of about 9 thought during that time. Then an adult he would suppress his anger from his own childhood. How did he cope, by becoming a workaholic and suppressing his needs. He also taught his body to suppress.

Guys, our bodies are so complex and so simple at the same time. Our body tells us more that we know and unfortunately most of us don't listen to it. I'm passionate about healing because I owe it to my kids. They shouldn't have to suffer because of my own pain.

A good place to start is checking in with your body, maybe having that hard conversation with yourself and be honest. Where am I saying yes when I really want to say no or vise versa? We often say yes to everyone else before we give ourselves permission to say yes.

Saying no can be very therapeutic!

Elleni

xox